Make sure you’ve taken all of this into consideration before deciding to procreate. Once they’re here there’s no going back!
1. You’ll suddenly need clothing with 50 billion pockets
Babies come with a lot of crap, and we’re not just talking about their bowel movements. You’ll need room for bottles, dummies and all the other stuff babies require, and you’ll need to be able to whip them all out at a moment’s notice.
2. At some point you WILL accidentally injure your child
You’ll feel like the worst parent ever, but it happens to everyone, so try not to take it so hard.
3. Your dog/cat/fish will no longer be your top priority
But your former “baby” will have a new playmate.
4. You car will get super nasty
Don’t bother cleaning it. It will be dirty again in five minutes.
5. You’ll suddenly sympathise with other parents
Admit it. We’ve all given dirty looks to the mum with the screaming baby on the bus, or the dad whose six-year-old is throwing a tantrum in the supermarket because it’s been told “no.” Now you’re a parent yourself, you finally understand their pain and try not to judge so much.
6. Something you love will get broken
When this eventually happens, just try and remember you love the little git more.
7. You won’t be able to watch films where kids get kidnapped or killed.
It’s basically watching your worst nightmare on screen.
8. But you will get to watch all the kids movies you love without judgement.
9. You will stop caring so much about your appearance
Greasy ponytail and sweat pants are your new uniform.
10. Alone time will become a thing of the past
So long privacy, hello little person watching you pee!
11. You’ll see all your faults reflected back at you
But also your best bits.
12. No one will find your child as interesting as you do.
But you won’t stop talking about them anyway.
13. You’ll also become that person that posts endless snaps of their baby on Facebook.
Even though you swore you wouldn’t.
14. You will turn into your parents
But you won’t mind. In fact, you’ll have a new found respect for them.
15. You will never be the same person
But it’s ok, because now you’re someone’s mum or dad, and that’s one of the best things ever.