Owning a cat is a wonderful experience. They’re cute, cuddly (sometimes) and they definitely improve your life.
However if you are thinking about owning a cat then you need some home truths first because cats are also incredibly naughty – albeit in a utterly adorable manner. These illustrations that sum up owning a cat should show you the truth about cats:
1. Never think of yourself as anything more than a butler for your cat’s every whim.
2. Your cat will eat LOTS of food, vomit it right back up (you can never un-see perfectly formed cat biscuit puke) and will then cry for more food.
3. All of your furniture now belongs to the cat. Remember your favourite spot? That now belongs to the cat.
4. You will have constant scratch marks, bite marks and destroyed clothing.
5. They will always destroy your furniture no matter what lengths you take to prevent it. It’s because they are evil.
6. No matter how much you need food, the toilet or whatever it is you need to move for, do not do it. As soon as you leave your seat it will be gone forever.
7. All of your clothes and belongings will be covered in fur no matter how much you hoover.
8. Every time you bring a box into the house a cat will instantly appear within it.
9. Once a cat sits on you, that is you stuck in that position until your cat decides to leave.
10. You will never cease to be amazed at the amount of hours your cat can sleep. This will lead to much jealousy.
11. Never EVER expect a cat to play with the expensive toy you just spent a fortune on. They won’t.
12. But sometimes they are mind-boggingly easy to amuse i.e. they will sit and stare at a wall for hours freaking you out.
13. You will find everything your cat does exceptionally cute and funny.
14. But at least you will never sleep in again.