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“I’m Just Not That Into You…” 12 Inventive Ways To Break Up With Someone

How do you know when your relationship is coming to an end? Or more importantly, do you have any idea at all how you’d end it if you had to? Well, sometimes we all need a few pointers or just some funny quotes to cheer us up and make us realise that we’re actually not the only ones on the planet who are going through it, or have already been there.

Here are 12 inventive quotes to make breaking up with someone that little bit funnier – even if you don’t use them (and we hope you might be more sensitive than this) they’re sure good for a bit of a laugh. But seriously – don’t be an idiot – do the right thing, the right way if you have to, OK?

Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?

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No. You’re suffocating me. Go away.

My cat doesn’t like you

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If the cat doesn’t like you, that’s it.

I’ll always remember last night, but I think we can forget about tomorrow.

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So it’s totally OK for me to sit in my pants and watch re-runs of Hi-De-Hi and eat my bodyweight in Pringles then?

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Garbage is dumped, now so are you.

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Nice poem. Lovely sentiment too. Bye.

It’s not you…it’s your taste in music

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Yeah. Don’t think I can ever listen to Des O’Connor again.

Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?

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I believe.

You’re not Mr. Right. Just Mr. Right Now.

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Ouch.

I wish I could say you were the most special person in the world, but you’re not

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It’s my Mum. My mum is. Yeah. Sorry about that.

Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab

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Honestly, I did…

“Hey babe, you heard of the movie ‘Other people'” “Yeah, why?” “I think we should see it”

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Oh, OK then.

“Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees… It’s just not working out”

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And you get all wobbly and need chocolate after too. And gin. Sometimes gin. But mostly chocolate.



Kit Dwyer
Writer and comedian. I've been freelancing since 2009. The last 4 years I've been an SEO specialist. In my spare time I blog about new music. I will publish a novel one day, instead of telling everyone about it.

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