Home Funny 15 Signs You're Stuck in a Make-Up Rut

15 Signs You’re Stuck in a Make-Up Rut

Hands up if you’ve been using the same make up for more than 5 years – without any changes? Do you go to your make up bag in the morning and apply it without thinking? If so, you might be stuck in a bit of a cosmetic rut – and you wouldn’t be alone.

Here are 15 signs to spot whether you’re in need of a change of makeup gear or not.

When someone tells you to “experiment with your look” you pull this face:

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“What do you mean “experiment with my look?””

“You’ve been wearing the same foundation since 1987”

“…and?”

You’re a bit addicted to watching makeup tutorials, but never try them

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You’ll waste entire evenings on YouTube watching the latest trends in strobing and highlighting, but when it comes to trying them on yourself, you’re like “hell, no”

You still think a “cat eye” is a road feature

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You do possess an eyeliner, but you can’t apply it without looking like a small child has been let loose with a felt tip.

You’ve got products in your bag that your Grandma used to use

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It’s great to stay faithful to brands you like, but always make sure you keep them fresh, throw really old products away (to prevent bacteria transfer and skin infection).

You buy a new shade of lipstick and pretend you’ll wear it, then…don’t…

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“I’ll wear it, I really will – I’ll use it for that night out I’ve got coming up in October…2019”

No matter how hard you want to try new techniques, you always end up looking like this:

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Maybe if you’d just try to get used to strobing? A little highlighter over the cheeks would make all the difference

Your routine is pared down to 3 products

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Foundation, mascara, lipstick. If you’re going out for the night, you’ll maybe put a little bit of eyeliner on.

You think people who experiment with their look are awesome

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Like, really, really awesome.

But you know you’ll never change

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So you hold onto that frosted pink lipstick like it’s going out of fashion (it already has)

When someone asks you how you’ll be doing your make up to go out that evening, you’re like:

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That’s so funny. You should be a comedian.

You have a pair of tweezers and they come out…maybe once a year

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You use one make up brush for, like, everything

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You mean you don’t have a blending brush, a contouring brush and a separate one for your blusher?

When you try and be bold you always end up looking like a gobby, painted doll

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So you go back to your favourite 3 products for the next 17 years.

For you “the natural look” does actually mean “no make up”

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Not 17 hours sat in front of the mirror trying to pretend you’ve not just spent 17 hours in front of the mirror, so you can be pale an interesting.

When someone says you should try something different…you sarcastically say:

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Like, as IF I hadn’t thought of that already?



Kit Dwyer
Writer and comedian. I've been freelancing since 2009. The last 4 years I've been an SEO specialist. In my spare time I blog about new music. I will publish a novel one day, instead of telling everyone about it.

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