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“It’s Just For Kids” and 21 Other Things Never to Say to a Harry Potter Fan

The problem with muggles is that they just don’t understand Harry Potter.

Harry Potter isn’t just some book, it’s part of our very souls and when you ask us silly questions it makes us very, very mad.

So before you ask, take a moment to think about your actions and perhaps have a look at theses annoying Harry Potter FAQs. There are things your are never to say to a Harry Potter fan:

1. “Harry Potter is just for kids”

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Stupid muggles! We grew up with Harry Potter, we lived the story. But if you think a book that explores murder, evil wizards and deaths that broke our hearts is “just for kids” then that’s cool. Totally cool.

2. “Harry Potter isn’t real”

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We’ve all had it. You’re innocently sitting reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire on the train when some smarmy dude interrupts to let you know Harry Potter isn’t real. WE KNOW. And it breaks our hearts. Especially that tiny little section that believes it could be real.

3. “Harry Potter fans wear weird stuff”

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Says the girl with the black eyebrows, bleached hair and orange face. Yes, WE look weird.

4. “Hogwarts sounds stupid”

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It’s a beautiful castle that teaches you magic – how is that stupid? You’re stupid!

5. “J.K. Rowling did it for the money”

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J.K. Rowling is an amazing lady who created Harry Potter while dealing with depression. She is the greatest!

5. “Harry and Hermione should be together”

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WHY? We don’t tell you that your boyfriend should be with someone else. Hermione should fall in love with whoever she likes.

6. “Harry should have killed Draco”

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Just no. Not only is Harry not a murderer, but why should Draco die? Yes, he was a child bully who made a lot of bad choices but he was a child. And he regretted his actions! You could see the fear and regret he experienced.

7. “Are the books based on the films?”

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Get out. Get out right now.

9. “Why are they sad? There’s still the other twin”

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There are no words to describe your stupidity. Also, you have no heart.

10. “Dumbledore was stupid”

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Hahaha. Seriously though, have you read the books? Albus Dumbledore gave everything to be a step ahead of Voldemort and help Harry and the rest of the wizarding world survive him. He was a genius.

11. “Why didn’t they Google who Nicolas Flamel was?”

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Firstly, we already know that muggle things like the internet don’t work with all that Muggle interference. Secondly, if you’re hiding the fact magic exists from muggles why would you plaster magical history across the internet?!

12. “Why didn’t Voldemort just chuck baby Harry Potter out the window?”

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Do you even understand Lord Voldemort? He HATES muggles so he’s rather unlikely to kill Harry in a muggle fashion, is he? No.

13. “Quidditch sounds like a silly sport”

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No, football is a silly sport. Quidditch is epic.

14. “Sirius isn’t even that great a character”

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Are you Sirius? Sirius was a legend and his death still haunts our dreams.

15. “Hermione should have been in Ravenclaw”

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Sigh. Did it ever occur to anyone that Hermione was brave or that she asked the sorting hat to be in Griffindor much like Harry did?

16. “Why did the Weasleys have so many kids when they were so poor?”

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A rich upbringing is more than fancy robes and brooms – look at Draco Malfoy who was brought up with money and turned out a bully. The Weasleys were one of the bravest and kindest families in the wizarding world.

17. “Neville was just stupid”

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Just no. Like most people, Neville had his own skills such as herbology and being much more heroic than you.

18. “Snape deserved to die”

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Did you even read the books? Did you not see what Snape dedicated his life to? This man was a HERO and his death was heartbreaking.

19. Emma Watson was too pretty to play Hermione

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What?! So because Hermione was the smart, nerdy dog she must be a troll? You people are the worst.

20. “Owl post sounds stupid”

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Seriously. Owl post sounds amazing and we love Hedwig (sniff).

21. “Those kids are terrible actors”

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They were like 11 when the first film came out people. Their talent grew with the films much like their characters did in the books. What amazing thing were you doing when you were 11?

22. “Voldemort doesn’t even look scary”

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Oh we’re sorry. Lord Voldemort looks friendly to you? Well all that mass-murdering and torture must just be a cute hobby too.

Steph Cosway
Steph Cosway
Journalism graduate and 100% geek. I have worked in writing for the last 7 years as well as dabbling in a science laboratory. So if I ever stop writing, it's because I've been in a lab experiment and turned into a super villain. I'm particularly interested in video games, comics and Harry Potter. Oh and I have lots and lots of cats.


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