Home Food 12 Signs You're An Obsessed Foodie - #3 Will Make You HOWL

12 Signs You’re An Obsessed Foodie – #3 Will Make You HOWL

Mmm. Food. Delicious, lovely food. We live for it (literally). But there are people who eat to live, and those who live to eat – if you know what we mean. Those people who fall into the latter category are known as Foodies.

Here’s a handy little post to see if you fall into that category. See if you can spot the inner grub lover!

You’re well known for your *cough* innovative recipes

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Celeriac truffles with prune jus? Or perhaps it’s a little Provencal stew you cobbled together with the remnants of the fridge – either way, you seem to have a knack of making the unpalatable absolutely delicious.

If someone takes your food away before you’ve finished…you go ballistic

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“I had put my knife and fork down so I could reach for the bread to mop up the last of the gravy…how DARE you assume I’d finished. I will not cease eating until you can see the pattern on the plate”

If there’s no food being served wherever you go, you just…won’t go…

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Nope. It’s just not happening. No food, no show. Sorry. If you can’t make me something to eat, I’ll just get sad and crabby.

When someone takes the last of the sundried tomatoes WITHOUT ASKING YOU

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You act like it’s the crime of the century.

Bacon. BACON. The sweet sweet taste of BACON

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You feel that everything is enhanced and improved by bacon. Even pudding.

You think nothing of whipping up a batch of pancakes for breakfast at the weekend

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A’la Nigella. Whilst most people are struggling to pour cereal into a bowl or make a bacon sandwich, you’re rustling up pancakes with maple syrup. And a huge pot of coffee. In a gingham apron.

Your sandwiches are always crammed to bursting with every ingredient known to man

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It gets all over your desk, your clothes and your face, but MY GOD IT TASTED SO GOOOOOOD. Trouble is, you can’t remember exactly what you did put into it, so won’t ever be able to recreate it again.

Your Instagram account has more pictures of food than it does of people

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And quite rightly so. Who needs humans when you have profiteroles.

When you’re too tired to even microwave a frankfurter, but you still cook a 3 course feast

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‘Cos food is life and life is food, right? You’ll feel better after you’ve eaten something proper.

You get snarky if you haven’t eaten anything for like, 2 hours

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You had lunch 2 hours ago, but you’re dreaming about what you’ll eat for your afternoon snack. Then your dinner. If anyone interrupts your daydreaming, you’ll give them short shrift.

You have snacks with you at all times

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Just in case…you know…your blood sugar drops pretty quickly…

You’ll try almost anything

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Even if it’s only once, you’ll sample it for the experience.



Kit Dwyer
Writer and comedian. I've been freelancing since 2009. The last 4 years I've been an SEO specialist. In my spare time I blog about new music. I will publish a novel one day, instead of telling everyone about it.

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