It’s got to the stage where you can’t leave your front door without being inundated with these Minion things. They’re on the side of buses, every advert on the television and now you can’t even have a cheeky packet of Haribo without them being bloomin’ Minion shaped!
Now don’t get us wrong, Minions were pretty cute and funny. At first. Before they were everywhere you looked, suffocating your very sanity.
People of the world beware, you might like them now but give it a few months and these Minions will be taking over the world Walking Dead style. Instead look at these reasons why minions are TERRIBLE and cleanse your soul of these yellow menaces.
1. Every cake is now a Minion cake
Call us cake snobs, but we’re fed up eating blue and yellow cakes. We want pink cakes, green cakes and red cakes! No more cakes covered in Minions please. You’re seriously putting us off our cake and NO ONE gets away with putting us off cake.
2. Every Facebook post is a Minion quote
It used to be baby photos that plagued our Facebook newsfeed, now we have Minion memes every second picture encouraging us to be weird. We were already weird! We don’t need Minion approval.
3. Halloween will be extra scary this year
Evil human-minion hybrids, evil human-minion hybrids everywhere! Oh the horror. What ever happened to a classic vampire or ninja.
4. You have to pretend to like Minions to your friends
Because it’s hard to admit to people that you think those cute yellow creatures are PURE EVIL. There needs to be a “We Hate Minions” club so we can all meet new, fellow anti-Minion friends.
5. The nightmare of your other half turning up wearing this
Is love really this unconditional? We’re not sure we could cope with our boyfriend or girlfriend in full Minion gear.
6. We’ll probably never be free of Minions
Which is the really scary thing. Once the likes of Asda and Tesco get bored of Minions they’ll start to infest the Aldis and Lidls. Once they’re through with them, Minions will reach the pound shops. That is until a new Minion film comes out and we start all over again. Will be ever be free??
7. Not even royalty are safe from the Minion disease
Poor Disney princesses – they don’t want to be Minionfied!
8. You can’t even have a shower in private now
There you are having a nice hot shower, you reach for the shower gel and what do you know, it’s a Minion. With those big, creepy Minion eyes watching you. Even creepier, the gel is red making it look like Minion blood. Yuck.
9. We’re actually pretty sad we got annoyed about Frozen
We’re so sorry Elsa. We actually love your Let It Go song. Come back and freeze all the Minions.
10. Are Minions sexy..?
The world has gone insane. Super insane.
11. If only there was a “Hide Minions from World” button
Of course, this only hides the adverts. You might need to delete 60% of your friend list to become truly Minion free on Facebook.
12. You can’t even look up a Greek god without being inundated
No, Google! We didn’t mean Minions. We just want to look at pictures of fish gods.
13. They’re going to ruin Christmas, aren’t they?
You just know that Christmas is going to be ruined with Minions. There will be Minion tinsel, baubles and, no doubt, dancing Minion reindeer. There will probably even be the choice of stuffed Festive Minion for Christmas lunch.
14. There’s an app that turns you into a Minion
Terrifying, isn’t it? Just wait till all your Facebook friends look like this.
15. There are Minion editions of EVERYTHING
You can’t even buy a pen these days without it being Minionfied.
16. Not even Tic Tacs are safe
Why?! Who wants to suck on these creepy little Tic Tac Minions? Nobody. Hopefully limited edition doesn’t mean they’ll be on sale for years to come.
17. They’re even invading our feet
Although Croc shoes are still considered a fashion disaster so perhaps this Minion infestation isn’t too heinous. Hopefully these don’t come in adult sizes too.
18. They’re taking over our walls
Seriously McDonalds, was there any need for this? You’re putting us off our fries.
19. When people speak Minion
It’s not even a proper language. It’s just gibberish. Stop it now.
20. Everyone forgets that Minions are obsessed with evil doing
You’re all supporting villains with your Minion love.
21. They will eventually take over the world
And when Minions do take over the world, don’t say we didn’t warn you first. Down with Minions!
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